Transformation Blog


Congrat, you found a Growth spot

Resistant for Change?

As Change Agent/Coach in Organisations, as well as Individual Coach, one of the questions that people ask me most often is:

How do you deal with Resistant?

one of my answers is: Congratulation, You Found a Growth spot!

Having partnering with Individuals in their coaching journeys , countless individual coaching conversations last 7 years, I am not afraid of resistant.

In fact - resistant is a part of the grow process. It is a sign of touching ''discomfort'' zone, it is the feedback for coaching/growth process.

It can be the ''growth spot'' of the coachee, of the coach, or both. Depended on how ''Resistant'' is defined in the context, and by whom.

This can be observed in our own behaviors/ thought process, and individual coaching and team/group coaching.

The Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross has a wonderful simple change model explain which emotional rollercoster we as human going through change, named ''Kubler-Ross change curve''.

In the various beginning stages of change process, we experience emotion Shock => Frustration => Depression => in this stages, often disbelief happen - there is no action taken in trying out the change.

And If we dig deeper on what people meant with ''Resistant'', if often results in ''the refusal to work with/ accept/ comply/move-on with the change'', and dig deeper in which specific behaviors that reflect ''Resistant'', you will recorgnize that in-fact many of these behaviors reflect these 3 first stages of change curve.

Which is quite normal as human being. For a person/group/team to try the change/behavior/situation, it mean for them griefing the old behavior/situation (Loss).

This emotion change curve explains also why it is important in Coaching process to support the coachee in Setting action plan with doable small action in practicing new habit (the later stage of change : Experiment => Decision => Integration).

So Next time, in Your Individual coaching conversation/ Team coaching conversation, when you signal/observe ''Resistance'', Pauze, Observe and Ask yourself :

What possible ''discomfort'' Learning is the ''Resistance'' telling you?

and For a Coach, You mind found a Gold mine....